http://suicidegirls.com/members/Episkey/

O, Jerry. This stuff’s gotta be from The Bible.

Jerry Springer knows what the audience likes.

I never quite understood JennaMarbles’ appeal, but this one deserves a post on modelzilla.  In this video, she addresses whether or not she is a lesbian.  For a woman that tries that hard to doll herself up, I think that answers the question.  She also manages to explain her lesbian vibe quite reasonably.  She’s like any Internet model with an androgynous appeal.  She does remind me of Paula Poundstone, though, but with Anna Faris’ looks.

Who says Uncle Terry doesn’t have any talent? It’s so “perfect”, it’s borderline self-parody.

To be a good researcher, you have to be able to trace the links back like a chain. You got Katy Perry, traces back to Dita Von Teese, traces back to Sherilyn Fenn, traces back to Bettie Page, etc.

So Marilyn Monroe was a natural brunette, but she didn’t stand out, so she went blonde.

The previously mentioned women were natural blondes (not sure), but Marilyn changed the game so much, they had to go dark.  However, it’s not to say these women weren’t pretty-faced to be begin with.

I’ve never watched Twin Peaks, or am even remotely familiar with any of these women’s works, but the key to getting anyone’s attention is with a pretty picture. That’s clever, isn’t it?

What is this zany movie Barbarella? Never seen it. But the bluray is coming out. Jane Fonda’s a classic beauty.

Not my review, but one at http://www.dvdbeaver.com/film4/blu-ray_reviews57/barbarella_blu-ray.htm

Better learn Mandarin fast if you want to get these hottie’s numbers. More at sexymandarin.com.

First look at Angelina Jolie as Maleficent, Disney’s live-action Sleeping Beauty thing.  It’s amazing how beautiful all that make-up and lighting can make any photogenic person look.  However, I’m not quite sold that Angelina is the right casting.  An actor’s persona is just an extension of their own real-life personality.  I’ve seen her do “baddie” in Wanted, it’s just not convincing.  Now, you look at Charlize Theron doing the evil Queen in Snow White, then somehow it makes sense.  Charlize looks like someone with that kind of personality.

Visual cue to make a woman look a little younger: rosy cheeks.  It’s relatively easy to Photoshop in some red into a portrait shot of a woman’s face to make her look younger. Granted you are trying to make her look younger.  This is how TV and movies make 30-something-year-olds look like teenagers for those angst-ridden teen dramas.

Weird Science is playing free on Hulu! How to make a beauty icon, indeed.

Fashion made from wine curds?

From bioalloy.com.  Looks like something from Silent Hill.  Arousing, yet disturbing.

Goes to show you, doesn’t matter how boring a video is, as long as it has a pretty face in it (Judy Greer’s pretty cute), people will at the least view it, if actually watch through the whole thing.

Hmm. Kerry Washington’s so beautiful. You can catch her in the upcoming Quentin Tarantino western/blaxploitation flick “Django Unchained”.

Milla’s ready to kick ass again in Resident Evil Retribution, coming to theatres Sept. 14, 2012!

Well, I be dang. Ellen Page: action hero of her own video game? This is a first!  Quantic Dream likes to rip off American movies, so expect this one to be parts Hard Candy, Matrix, Silence of the Lambs, etc.  David Gage figured out a formula and he’s going to use it over and over.

I’m not too hip with the young crowd, but Coldplay and Rihanna’s Princess of China music video is pretty hot, and surprisingly the music is too.  Usually I’ll have a problem if the imagery doesn’t live up the music and it wouldn’t justify the stereotypical misappropriation, but there’s a delicate balance.

So is Rihanna working that Kabuki stuff or not?  I’d say so.

The Countess Perverse is coming out on DVD. I don’t know about you, but this photograph by itself is pretty awesome.

I’d like to consider myself quite the hipster film consumer, but how come I’ve never seen Supergirl in its entirety?  Goes to show you no matter how attractive your product is, if it ain’t good, it doesn’t have lasting appeal, and no one knows it exists. What a game.

You know I’m going to start sneaking in my biases. With everything being high definition now, for anyone doing fashion or beauty shots, it might be beneficial to have wardrobe that is more vignetted.

I always wondered who the heck Miss Mosh was. Once you see her in too many portfolios and she’s every aspiring model’s idol, mention after mention.  Can someone explain her appeal to me? Surely, she’s not super famous, but she’s definitely Internet famous among the Internet image base.

Is it because she has an “average American girl” look?

Dude’s work is all over the place, from CW title cards to magazine covers.  Dave Hill fully exploited the digital era.  So influential that even Vanity Fair had to ease his style in by selling it as Anne Liebovitz’s style.  So who will come up with the next gimmick to kick Dave Hill out of the spotlight?

I’m surprised Kristen Stewart isn’t already setup for a “sexy” remake of Wizard of Oz where there’s an obligatory orgy between her Dorothy and her three comrades.  That would be so friggin’ hot.  I can hear it now, the tin man’s squeeky hips grinding, wee-eh-wee-eh-wee-eh.  LOL. Where’s my Comedy Central comic of the year award?

Uncle George cast Carrie Fischer in Star Wars, inspired by Logan’s Run’s Jenny Agutter.

If you really want to see who defines the current beauty standard, a good place to look is at the movies. Here’s one of the earliest examples of eroticism put into a robot or machine in Fritz Lang’s Metropolis.

And the robot is played by Bridgette Helm.

Dracula’s Brides. The player. The most recent incarnations.

So, does 3 women enhance the sexiness of the women, or the man with the fangs? Ask James Bond.

A screencap from previews of the upcoming film Prometheus. Seems film director Ridley Scott is trying to recapture the original eroticism of Sigourney Weaver in the previous Aliens films. Will it work?

Sigourney was working it, wasn’t she?

History. Hysteria.

Who is this girl? She’s got tons of fans (mainly women), millions of views per video. Anyway, JennaMarbles seems kinda androgynous to me (just look at her beefy forearms, on her Wikipedia page says she’s a sports counselor… a massage therapist?), but she sure knows how to put on her face.  She reminds me of Anna Faris (who plays ditzy, very annoying imo). I dunno, the tomboy thing might only work for dudes that can only be aroused by being reminded of themselves (ie, the football imagery, gangster, etc)… in essence, another dude but with titties and lipstick.

Here’s another round of “Hollywood double cash typecast!”

Michelle Williams and Carey Mulligan are still going strong, but can you describe their typecast?  They actually both do full-frontal nudity (this is always something significant to mention in American Pop Culture because of our history of censorship), but always seem to play damaged women or frail, abused women.

Filmmaker Steven Soderbergh cast a somewhat androgenous-looking Cody Horn to be Channing Tatum’s love interest in the upcoming film Magic Mike, where Tatum plays a male stripper.  Explain rules of foils.  When you are trying to enhance the male beauty, you foil him with a slightly masculine looking female.  Same rule applies in the opposite, beautiful woman ugly man.  If my theory is wrong, watch for the same casting technique in the upcoming Shanghai Calling, and I’ll shaddup.

Pay homage to those that come before us, if the glitz and glamour is what you’re after.  So you don’t have to reinvent the wheel.

Let’s get you guys pumped.

Newest promo pic of Emma Stone as Gwen Stacy in the upcoming The Amazing Spider-man.  I think she should play an adult-comedy Strawberry Shortcake, whaddaya think?

This is an old video, but watch what Jessica Alba does to garner fans of KevJumba of YouTube: she engages them, makes the video seem very intimate, is friendly, never giving away the illusion that she’s only in it to win it.

(It’s possible she has the same talent agent as KevJumba, too. Just so you know.)

Don’t know about you, but that’s pretty hot.  Anne Hathaway’s got a flat butt, though.  We know she’s ample up top, so the proportions are kinda off.

Cynthia Rothrock ain’t no fake Charlie’s Angel.  Man, back in the day, it meant something to really have a skill at fighting well for the camera.  Nowadays, some Hollywood Dynasty princess can just hire Yuen Woo-Ping and it’s considered bad-ass.

Is the world going to be ready for Sarah Silverman’s “ordinary-bodied” full-frontal debut?

Sarah Silverman and Michelle Williams will both be doing full-frontal nudity in Sarah Polley’s “Take This Waltz”. If anyone can lessen her sex appeal and make it into something comedic or “ordinary”, it’s her.  Maybe Tina Fey will jump on board? Naah, Tina Fey crossed over into sexy… well, maybe just a little bit only.